Taking the Order
Taking a delivery order is an exercise in patience and self-control. A typical Friday night order comes from a drunk, who, despite screaming into the phone, is often drowned out by really loud and really shitty music.
That is, of course, if they are even on the other line. Mike Harmon, my roommate and a D.P. Dough worker, said he has a 5 second rule for callers. If they aren't on the phone within 5 seconds, he hangs up. "IT'S OVER 9000," he told me when I asked the number of callers he has hung up on, though I'm pretty sure this was an exaggeration.
Preparing the Order
While this may be oversimplifying the process, there are three steps to making a calzone. First, wrokers load up dough with the ingredients on a counter.
Next, the calzone is put into the oven. According to Mike, the calzone is cooked "until it looks done."
The last step is to box the calzone. After years of training, Collin Heyman, owner of the D.P. Dough in Oxford, Ohio, is able to move with ninja speed. He is so quick that in the picture above, his spatula seems to have disappeared.
Setting Up the Delivery
Drivers use computers to mark the orders they are delivering. Exciting, I know.
Driving
Because none of my pictures of driving turned out, I have decided to instead include a video of an internet meme that has nothing to with delivery driving. Or does it? Much like Fox McCloud, who does barrel rolls to dodge incoming lasers, delivery drivers are often forced to do a steering wheel crank to dodge oncoming drunks. Loose connection, but it's all I've got.
Parking
As you can see, J.J.'s hazard lights are on and he is not parked in a parking spot. This is because Athens parking sucks', and drivers rarely, if ever, park in legal parking spots. Most of the time, the car is left in the least dangerous spot possible, examples being: alleys, other people's driveways, and, on occasion, the middle of the road.
Checking Your Step
Drivers much watch out for vomit, bodies, and, in this case, the lifeless remains of a Halloween pumpkin.
Making the Deal
J.J. making a delivery.
This is where deliveries have the greatest chance of going wrong. While most are uneventful, it if the point in which drivers are most likely to encounter problems. Right before I left D.P. Dough on Saturday, a driver was getting his ass chewed out because a group of kids gave him a handful of money, took the delivery and ran. The kids short changed the driver by about $3, sticking him with the bill.
Returning to Base
After the delivery is over, the driver finds the order on the computer, marks it as delivered, and puts in the tip amount if it was a credit card order. And that's it, the delivery is over.
Bonus! A crate full of ranch dressing!
Josh Hesh, a driver and calzone maker at D.P. Dough, calculated that this crate contains about 53,760 calories of ranch dressing. Or, in Hesh's own words, "enough calories to feed an African village for weeks."
All photos by Rob.
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I've been asked a lot whether or not I am going to interview or ride along drivers at other delivery establishments. Yes, I plan to. No, it won't be before this assignment is due.
Because I go to Zanesville nearly every weekend to work, and because some delivery establishments have rules against ride-alongs, I have had a hard time getting information about other places.
However, I plan to keep doing this after the Online Journalism class is over, so if you want to check back, feel free, and I should be posting new material occasionally. I'm actually quite excited to do some ride-alongs during the winter. Hours on the road + Ohio winter = craziness, I'm sure.
